Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
