he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think your dad took our porno
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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