Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
