Pappa wants mamma naked
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
