She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
