I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
