Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
