she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
