Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
