absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
