Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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