I could make wine with my vomit
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
