piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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