How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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