My liver just broke up with me...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
