Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
