I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
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