she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
