I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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