Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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