after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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