So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
