come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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