I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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