Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
