i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
