He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
