when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
