A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
