There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
