Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
