I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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