My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
