She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
