fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
