Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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