It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So vagazzling was a success
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
