Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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