I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
