I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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