plz talk dirty to me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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