i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
