Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
