Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
