is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
