What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
