The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
