Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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