Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
