i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
