no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
