glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
